Spiral bound note book, 3-ring binder, 3-hole lined paper, pencils, pens, erasers, crayons, stapler, scissors, paste, book bag, pencil case, shoes, socks, underwear, shirts, pants, skirts, jacket, uniforms.... Check, Check, Check..., everything is ready. Or is it?
I head a report on the radio yesterday, "School supply sales are down from last year." I am perplexed. What benefit does that fact make in anyone's life? What is the purpose of reporting this? How will that information help me or anyone else? As I mused about this inane topic, I realized the most important information for children returning to school is not reported. The most important information parents and children need when going to school is how to protect children from sexual abuse perpetrators. Every year throughout the world several hundred children are sexually abused (sexually assaulted) by teachers, bus drivers, janitors, or other adults associated with your child's school experience. To adequately prepare your child for school you need to prepare your child to protect him/herself from cunning sexual abuse perpetrators.
How can children protect themselves? First and foremost we need to accept the fact that sexual abuse perpetrators may seem very average and ordinary to the world. In spite of all the reports of sexual abuse by pillars of the community-teachers, clergy, coaches, we still want to cling to the belief that a sexual abuse perpetrator is the disheveled man with a scraggly beard and wearing a dirty trench coat. We find it very difficult to believe the people we like, admire, trust and work with would do such a heinous thing.
The frightening truth about sexual abuse perpetrators is that within their belief system they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Sexual abuse perpetrators frequently pass lie detector tests because their moral and ethical values do not reflect the standards on which the test is based. They feel no inner conflict with what they have done, therefore in their belief system they are not lying when they state, "Never ever. I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. That is not who I am." Most perpetrators go to great lengths to present themselves as exemplary people; the teacher, who frequently stays after school to help a child having academic difficulties or the gym teacher/coach, who takes special interest in a budding athlete.
I am not suggesting that everyone who does these things is a sexual abuse perpetrator. Insidiously, perpetrators demonstrate the right, moral, and exemplary behavior to develop credibility and establish proof of their love of children, thus thwarting any suspicion of wrong doing; and to have access to lure the innocent, trusting child. Perpetrators frequently take jobs which afford easy access to children-child care workers, teachers, coaches, etc.
Second, we need to know the definition of sexual abuse. "Traditionally, incest [sexual abuse] was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not describe what children are experiencing. We need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator.
The new definition relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense.
If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an ex hibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated." -E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors
Third, a child needs to have specific information, tools and techniques to know what to do. Self-protection offers a direct and effective way for children to help themselves. Who, other than the child, is in a better position to protect him/herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize. They can tell by the child's demeanor, body language, and facial expression. They sense the fear, the helplessness, the passivity. They chose a child who is easily intimidated or controlled so hopefully the child won't tell. Secrecy, needless-to-say, is paramount for the perpetrator.
Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior is usually passivity, while boys usually 'tough it out;--thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Sexual crimes against children can only be committed if the perpetrator finds someone who will hopefully keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators.
There is no foolproof method of preventing perpetrators from abusing a child. They are cunning predators, who have perfected their predatory skills to get what they want. Therefore, you need to heed and investigate any warning signals. Warning signals might be:
an aversion to a teacher. sudden outbursts of anger and there is no apparent reason known for such anger. any unusual or unexplained behavior change. not wanting to go to school on a particular day of the week-the day gym or music class is held for instance. not wanting to ride the bus or be around a particular person. the gym teacher says your child is athletically 'gifted' and he or she wants to develop your child's athletic abilities if your child practiced one-on-one after school. a teacher gives your child a gift. A gift is sometimes an overture to win your trust and groom your child for seduction.
What to do:
Teach your child Good/Appropriate Touch. Teach your child Appropriate Body Boundaries Foster Self-Esteem and Good Body Image Teach your child "Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything-No Secrets. Allow your child to command respect regarding dislikes and touch with family members, friends or authority figures. Talk with and listen to your child until you are satisfied the aversion is unrelated to improper behavior by the teacher.
Make a habit of coming to school unannounced during the one-on-one practices or other times to become 'known' as an attentive parent. Be present at games and practice. If you can't be there, ask another parent to be the 'stand-in' parent. Tell the coach who is 'standing-in.' Trust and honor your child's intuitive reactions. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone, respect their intuitive sense. Teach your child to avoid going into a teacher's office alone-many children unwittingly go into a teacher's office at the teacher's request to help carry books or equipment-with the door closed and alone with the teacher, the child is abused.
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Sabtu, 31 Maret 2012
Jumat, 30 Maret 2012
tips how to make children like reading
Reading helps children develop their intelligence. Children who like reading have more knowledge than others. They have new horizon of thought. On the other hands, you must choose a fine book for them. Good, qualified and suitable reading materials for your children can stimulate the way they think. The more they read the more input they get.
Some people have a bad perception of reading. They think people who like reading are serious, unfriendly and not sociable. This is not true. Few people that like reading coincidentally are serious. You as parents must break the perception, wrap it in a plastic bag and throw it into a trashcan. You need to build image that reading is fun. Tell your children that they will not lose their friends because they like reading!
Reading is a mental and physical activity. It seems doing nothing but it needs muc energy. Most children prefer watching TV to reading.Reading is a boring activity for them. They sometime say that it is a serious activity and not much fun. However, reading cab be fun and has much benefit for some other children.
Reading is a hobby. You need to serve many books to your children to make them love reading. Colorful books and interesting pictures or stories attract your children attention. When you children are interested in reading and continue their habit, it means they have a new hobby. That is reading.
Your children still have energetic personality even though they like reading. You can manage their time. You don’t have to draw them from their friends and playmates. You can let them bring their favorite books and share with their friends while they are playing out. You can make your children still have opportunity to play some games and outdoor activities.
In the end, reading is a fun activity for your children. You should build that image to your children. You should grow the seed of image to your children and their friends. You don’t have to worry to make your children like reading. You need to supply many qualified books. The last, you must let your children play out to get along with their playmates.
Online Educational Kids Games: A Balance Between Learning and Fun - Education - Online Education
In today's times, nearly all children are glued to the computer for at least a few hours of every day. This presents a few problems to parents. The vast majority of time that kids spend on the computer is spent either socializing or playing mindless video games, and this means that children are experiencing less and less of the valuable learning activities that they must participate in if they are to grow and mature. The children who spend the most time on the computer are typically those who do the least well in school.
Still, kids are nearly impossible to coerce away from the computer. The current generation has grown up with the wonders of technology influencing their entire world, and it can be difficult for today's children to understand how some aspects of our society's strong computer reliance can actually be harmful. Many kids therefore resist parental attempts to limit computer usage.
However, it is possible to find a happy medium regarding internet usage. You might not be able to keep your kids from using the computer on a nearly constant basis; however, you can ensure that the games that they participate in are educational and wholesome.
There are online educational kids games for children of all ages. Whether your child is very young and still learning how to use the computer or older and more in sync with the world of computers than you are, you can find online games that are geared towards their interests but that have a developmental influence. These games are specially designed to captivate a child, causing him or her to participate in the activity out of want rather than out of obligation. However, parents are appeased as well with the games' highly educational content.
These games feature a vast variety of content that can help your child with nearly any subject. There are online educational games to help your child learn his or her times tables, to teach your child the basics of reading, to quiz your child on basic history, and even to stress certain moral values. These lessons are all presented within exciting, adventurous formats that are very similar to the games that your child would have chosen to play on his or her own. You must simply choose the lessons that you wish your child to learn and propose that he or she play a corresponding game.
Most children are not opposed to the idea of learning itself. Rather, it is the boredom and frustration that oftentimes accompany traditional teaching methods that cause children to dislike education. An amazing difference is achieved when lessons are presented in a fun and engaging manner. You will find that your children will be excited to play online educational kids games both for the fun that they are able to participate in and the new knowledge that they are able to acquire. This is far more advantageous to your child's overall well being than allowing him or her to remain glued to meaningless online activities, and you will find that your child will benefit greatly from online educational games regardless of age or personality.
For more information on online kids games, visit
Still, kids are nearly impossible to coerce away from the computer. The current generation has grown up with the wonders of technology influencing their entire world, and it can be difficult for today's children to understand how some aspects of our society's strong computer reliance can actually be harmful. Many kids therefore resist parental attempts to limit computer usage.
However, it is possible to find a happy medium regarding internet usage. You might not be able to keep your kids from using the computer on a nearly constant basis; however, you can ensure that the games that they participate in are educational and wholesome.
There are online educational kids games for children of all ages. Whether your child is very young and still learning how to use the computer or older and more in sync with the world of computers than you are, you can find online games that are geared towards their interests but that have a developmental influence. These games are specially designed to captivate a child, causing him or her to participate in the activity out of want rather than out of obligation. However, parents are appeased as well with the games' highly educational content.
These games feature a vast variety of content that can help your child with nearly any subject. There are online educational games to help your child learn his or her times tables, to teach your child the basics of reading, to quiz your child on basic history, and even to stress certain moral values. These lessons are all presented within exciting, adventurous formats that are very similar to the games that your child would have chosen to play on his or her own. You must simply choose the lessons that you wish your child to learn and propose that he or she play a corresponding game.
Most children are not opposed to the idea of learning itself. Rather, it is the boredom and frustration that oftentimes accompany traditional teaching methods that cause children to dislike education. An amazing difference is achieved when lessons are presented in a fun and engaging manner. You will find that your children will be excited to play online educational kids games both for the fun that they are able to participate in and the new knowledge that they are able to acquire. This is far more advantageous to your child's overall well being than allowing him or her to remain glued to meaningless online activities, and you will find that your child will benefit greatly from online educational games regardless of age or personality.
For more information on online kids games, visit
Rabu, 28 Maret 2012
3 Kinds Of Boarding Schools For Adolescent Girls
Three types of boarding schools intended for adolescent girls include military boarding schools, religious boarding schools, and therapeutic boarding schools.
Boarding schools are often the last-resort option for parents who no longer know what they can perform to support their troubled teenage girls. Although these parents wish nothing but the best for their kids, they also understand that they aren't the best equipped to take care of their child's chaotic behavior. This is where boarding schools designed for teenage girls come in because they have specialists who deal with unruly behavior and understand best how to aid these children become responsible individuals.
Military boarding schools
An army boarding school is the ideal location for an adolescent girl who has behavioral problems. Not just will young women in this specific school be motivated towards academic achievement, but they'll also get a sense of leadership and determination, along with fitness and health. These types of facilities enforce very strict measures to have their students back on track and on the proper path. Sometimes, a court may send an unruly kid who has been involved in different criminal acts to a military boarding school. This is because a military school is a greater choice for modifying violent behavior compared to a detention center where a teenager may end up acquiring more undesirable manners. When these girls get out of army boarding schools, they've often become a totally new person with a bright future ahead of them.
Spiritual boarding schools
Parents who've strong religious beliefs are more inclined to send their troubled teenager to a spiritual Boarding School. This type of school may use behavior modification programs which are based on the faith that is similar to that of kids' parents, with the objective of aiding the child to get on the correct path, to learn values and the difference between right and also wrong. Most religious boarding schools have programs that are the same as other typical schools. These kinds of schools often have several outdoor programs, performing arts, and similar high-standard academic programs to offer the students with great preparation for their own future. The powerful practice of the school's religion is what sets these non secular boarding schools apart from other educational programs. A troublesome teenage girl can actually do well in a spiritual school, where her violent behaviours can be straightened out while she is also being taught about her family's religious values.
Therapeutic boarding schools
Adolescent girls who are experiencing more than just edgy behavior, like those who have become systemically dependent on alcohol or addicted to harmful drugs, must be sent to a therapeutic boarding school. These types of boarding schools don't just operate to alter unruly behavior; they have also certified medical personnel and apply medical measures to manage the reliance of students on certain substances and any medical disorders they may have. These therapeutic schools don't just clean and clear the bodies of their students of misused drugs, but they also function to modify their students' minds, encouraging them see the awful and also damaging effects of their former actions. Together with therapy, these types of boarding schools also provide the academic courses their students need to prepare them for a good future.
It is important to research well the specific boarding school you intend to send your teenage girl to. Know all about their programs, as well as the disciplinary measures they provide, and then assess your choice accordingly.
----------------------------------------------------
Written by Patricia Strasser. If you're looking for a Boarding School, do so by visiting http://myboardingschool.com
EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=261682
Boarding schools are often the last-resort option for parents who no longer know what they can perform to support their troubled teenage girls. Although these parents wish nothing but the best for their kids, they also understand that they aren't the best equipped to take care of their child's chaotic behavior. This is where boarding schools designed for teenage girls come in because they have specialists who deal with unruly behavior and understand best how to aid these children become responsible individuals.
Military boarding schools
An army boarding school is the ideal location for an adolescent girl who has behavioral problems. Not just will young women in this specific school be motivated towards academic achievement, but they'll also get a sense of leadership and determination, along with fitness and health. These types of facilities enforce very strict measures to have their students back on track and on the proper path. Sometimes, a court may send an unruly kid who has been involved in different criminal acts to a military boarding school. This is because a military school is a greater choice for modifying violent behavior compared to a detention center where a teenager may end up acquiring more undesirable manners. When these girls get out of army boarding schools, they've often become a totally new person with a bright future ahead of them.
Spiritual boarding schools
Parents who've strong religious beliefs are more inclined to send their troubled teenager to a spiritual Boarding School. This type of school may use behavior modification programs which are based on the faith that is similar to that of kids' parents, with the objective of aiding the child to get on the correct path, to learn values and the difference between right and also wrong. Most religious boarding schools have programs that are the same as other typical schools. These kinds of schools often have several outdoor programs, performing arts, and similar high-standard academic programs to offer the students with great preparation for their own future. The powerful practice of the school's religion is what sets these non secular boarding schools apart from other educational programs. A troublesome teenage girl can actually do well in a spiritual school, where her violent behaviours can be straightened out while she is also being taught about her family's religious values.
Therapeutic boarding schools
Adolescent girls who are experiencing more than just edgy behavior, like those who have become systemically dependent on alcohol or addicted to harmful drugs, must be sent to a therapeutic boarding school. These types of boarding schools don't just operate to alter unruly behavior; they have also certified medical personnel and apply medical measures to manage the reliance of students on certain substances and any medical disorders they may have. These therapeutic schools don't just clean and clear the bodies of their students of misused drugs, but they also function to modify their students' minds, encouraging them see the awful and also damaging effects of their former actions. Together with therapy, these types of boarding schools also provide the academic courses their students need to prepare them for a good future.
It is important to research well the specific boarding school you intend to send your teenage girl to. Know all about their programs, as well as the disciplinary measures they provide, and then assess your choice accordingly.
----------------------------------------------------
Written by Patricia Strasser. If you're looking for a Boarding School, do so by visiting http://myboardingschool.com
EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=261682
Senin, 26 Maret 2012
How to Create Good Sibling Relationships? - Family
My great-aunt taught 4th grade for more years than some people live. They kept calling her back to substitute when she was well up in her 80s. She had no children of her own, which I think allowed her to be more objective than some teachers, and of course she had a hands-on understanding of child development from decades of observation. Living in a small rural community, she taught the child, then her daughter, then her daughter.
She and I were talking about twins one day. I'm a twin, and when I was in school there was controversy about whether to "separate" twins or not.
"I would if it's a boy and girl twin," Aunt Louise said. "The girl's too far ahead. She mothers the little boy, talks for him, dresses him. I had one who tried to put her little brother down for his nap at naptime. It can be smothering."
I've seen this with siblings farther apart than twins, and I'm sure you have too. The Big Sister is very motherly to her little brother, fussing over him, talking for him, taking care of him as if he were hers. What do you think about this? I think that just like the big brother who protects his little brother on the playground, this can be both good and bad for the development of the little one, but the behavior itself is wonderful. It's what we want.
Should they be separated? Well, I would take each case individually. Sometimes you see a child so dominated by an older sibling they need to be put in another school, not just another classroom; but the real remedy is for the parents to bone up on their EQ and create a different scenario. You've got a garden there, and every plant must have room to grow.
The older sibling will always have a psychological advantage. Even when the younger is only younger by months, even if bigger and stronger, it's rare they aren't intimidated by the older one. Parents have to watch the relationship so it doesn't evolve into a permanent victim-perpetrator relationship. Family life should be a proving ground for healthy relationships built on mutual respect that treat both individual rights and group sensitivity, and favor assertiveness and nurturing support, not aggressive competition.
It is NOT true that you "need to learn how to fight" at home. What you need to learn is "how to get along." Look at the average 2 year old, and you will understand that you can take aggression for granted; we are born knowing hot to fight. But to have "not fighting" for a goal is neutral; it is asking for too little. The further step is to foster pro-social behavior. There's fighting. There's not fighting. Then there's helping one another, comforting, protecting, and working together as a team.
The vogue these days is co-sleeping. It's been found that siblings who sleep together get along better in the day time, just like big boys and big girls do. Why would you want to separate kids who were nurturing and close to one another? It's all too rare.
Well, if one of them was being stunted in their growth and actually handing over parts of their personality and functioning to the other child.
I admit to having a bias here, being the Big Sister of four. I find that men who are most comfortable in adult male-female relationships are men who have older sisters. Every relationship has its power issues and struggles. Men who have been "bossed around," were also "mothered," and so innately know they are two sides of the same coin, and come with caring and attachment. These caring behaviors need to be tempered, not attacked, or eliminated. At any rate these men have survived it, are familiar with it and not threatened by it. They had a lesson in childhood about "the way females are" and managed to take the good, avoid the bad, and learn how to tip it one way or the other.
One of the men I know who is most comfortable with women has a sister on either side, 3 years older, 3 years younger. Another one who is comfortable with everybody, had a sister 3 years younger and then the baby - a boy, 14 years younger. At 14 years of age, it was his job to get up with the newborn every other night. He is particularly adept with what I would call "adult temper tantrums," and with soothing distressed people.
However, is this good for the older, nurturing child? To a point. It can cause extreme anxiety if the child is really feeling responsible. When my granddaughter would start stressing about her baby brother's crying, her mom would said, "Hey, Meg. It's OK. He's my baby. You can go play." Baby brother is for loving and for looking after, but he's Mommy's responsibility.
Your position in your family of origin is unique, and there are advantages and disadvantages to them all. What matters is that warm relationships were fostered. Left to their own devices, without supervision, children in a group tend toward Lord of the Flies. The adage that we learn how to get along in the world by fighting with our siblings is incorrect. We learn how to get along in the world BY fighting, if that's what we had as a child. We learn aggression, passive-aggression, attack and defend, competition, put-downs, egocentric behavior and very little emotional intelligence.
If we had parents who modeled good emotional intelligence, teaching us about our own feelings and that others have them too, who taught positive conflict resolution, forbade put-downs, showed us how to comfort others and support them, we're better equipped for the world. We do not have to make it adversarial because when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
The key here is the supervision. It's a good idea to let kids solve little squabbles themselves, but with big squabble you must step in. The difference? Little squabbles are pushing, shoving, grabbing toys, and physical things. Big squabbles? Psychological warfare, domination, and put-downs. These you must stop immediately. If you turn your back, you are condoning it. It's not an option not to notice, or to not be aware.
There are things in life that are not fair, many of which cannot be addressed. You can't change that one child is beautiful and the other is not. You cannot change their IQs. You cannot make the younger one older, or the older one younger. But you can step in when need be, when one child, due to age, size and/or temperament is bullying the other. If you allow it continue, or brush it off as "the way it is," you are creating a victim and a bully. They will then carry this forward into their marriages and workplaces.
We learn how to get along at home. We learn how not to get along. We learn whether the world is basically benign or basically hostile at home. We bond with our siblings or are indifferent, and we bond either in love or in love/hate, i.e., the client who tell me, "I know he's abrasive, but she's my sister. I love her."
You are teaching these things whether you mean to or not, so learn as much as you can and make sure you're teaching what you intend to teach.
She and I were talking about twins one day. I'm a twin, and when I was in school there was controversy about whether to "separate" twins or not.
"I would if it's a boy and girl twin," Aunt Louise said. "The girl's too far ahead. She mothers the little boy, talks for him, dresses him. I had one who tried to put her little brother down for his nap at naptime. It can be smothering."
I've seen this with siblings farther apart than twins, and I'm sure you have too. The Big Sister is very motherly to her little brother, fussing over him, talking for him, taking care of him as if he were hers. What do you think about this? I think that just like the big brother who protects his little brother on the playground, this can be both good and bad for the development of the little one, but the behavior itself is wonderful. It's what we want.
Should they be separated? Well, I would take each case individually. Sometimes you see a child so dominated by an older sibling they need to be put in another school, not just another classroom; but the real remedy is for the parents to bone up on their EQ and create a different scenario. You've got a garden there, and every plant must have room to grow.
The older sibling will always have a psychological advantage. Even when the younger is only younger by months, even if bigger and stronger, it's rare they aren't intimidated by the older one. Parents have to watch the relationship so it doesn't evolve into a permanent victim-perpetrator relationship. Family life should be a proving ground for healthy relationships built on mutual respect that treat both individual rights and group sensitivity, and favor assertiveness and nurturing support, not aggressive competition.
It is NOT true that you "need to learn how to fight" at home. What you need to learn is "how to get along." Look at the average 2 year old, and you will understand that you can take aggression for granted; we are born knowing hot to fight. But to have "not fighting" for a goal is neutral; it is asking for too little. The further step is to foster pro-social behavior. There's fighting. There's not fighting. Then there's helping one another, comforting, protecting, and working together as a team.
The vogue these days is co-sleeping. It's been found that siblings who sleep together get along better in the day time, just like big boys and big girls do. Why would you want to separate kids who were nurturing and close to one another? It's all too rare.
Well, if one of them was being stunted in their growth and actually handing over parts of their personality and functioning to the other child.
I admit to having a bias here, being the Big Sister of four. I find that men who are most comfortable in adult male-female relationships are men who have older sisters. Every relationship has its power issues and struggles. Men who have been "bossed around," were also "mothered," and so innately know they are two sides of the same coin, and come with caring and attachment. These caring behaviors need to be tempered, not attacked, or eliminated. At any rate these men have survived it, are familiar with it and not threatened by it. They had a lesson in childhood about "the way females are" and managed to take the good, avoid the bad, and learn how to tip it one way or the other.
One of the men I know who is most comfortable with women has a sister on either side, 3 years older, 3 years younger. Another one who is comfortable with everybody, had a sister 3 years younger and then the baby - a boy, 14 years younger. At 14 years of age, it was his job to get up with the newborn every other night. He is particularly adept with what I would call "adult temper tantrums," and with soothing distressed people.
However, is this good for the older, nurturing child? To a point. It can cause extreme anxiety if the child is really feeling responsible. When my granddaughter would start stressing about her baby brother's crying, her mom would said, "Hey, Meg. It's OK. He's my baby. You can go play." Baby brother is for loving and for looking after, but he's Mommy's responsibility.
Your position in your family of origin is unique, and there are advantages and disadvantages to them all. What matters is that warm relationships were fostered. Left to their own devices, without supervision, children in a group tend toward Lord of the Flies. The adage that we learn how to get along in the world by fighting with our siblings is incorrect. We learn how to get along in the world BY fighting, if that's what we had as a child. We learn aggression, passive-aggression, attack and defend, competition, put-downs, egocentric behavior and very little emotional intelligence.
If we had parents who modeled good emotional intelligence, teaching us about our own feelings and that others have them too, who taught positive conflict resolution, forbade put-downs, showed us how to comfort others and support them, we're better equipped for the world. We do not have to make it adversarial because when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
The key here is the supervision. It's a good idea to let kids solve little squabbles themselves, but with big squabble you must step in. The difference? Little squabbles are pushing, shoving, grabbing toys, and physical things. Big squabbles? Psychological warfare, domination, and put-downs. These you must stop immediately. If you turn your back, you are condoning it. It's not an option not to notice, or to not be aware.
There are things in life that are not fair, many of which cannot be addressed. You can't change that one child is beautiful and the other is not. You cannot change their IQs. You cannot make the younger one older, or the older one younger. But you can step in when need be, when one child, due to age, size and/or temperament is bullying the other. If you allow it continue, or brush it off as "the way it is," you are creating a victim and a bully. They will then carry this forward into their marriages and workplaces.
We learn how to get along at home. We learn how not to get along. We learn whether the world is basically benign or basically hostile at home. We bond with our siblings or are indifferent, and we bond either in love or in love/hate, i.e., the client who tell me, "I know he's abrasive, but she's my sister. I love her."
You are teaching these things whether you mean to or not, so learn as much as you can and make sure you're teaching what you intend to teach.
Minggu, 25 Maret 2012
How to Stay Happy in Marriage - Relationships - Marriage
Marriage can be a joyful thing full of wondrous moments and intimacy but it can also be frustrating and even depressing. The funny thing is most couples experience both of these feelings at various points in their marriage and often swing back and forth between joy and hardship making it unpredictable which can also add its own stress! How to stay happy in marriage seems like something that cannot be constant and is only for Hollywood and dreams. This is an unfortunate way of thinking however.
This is because many people tie their entire view of happiness in a marriage to the spots of extreme joy when they know they are in love and everything seems perfect and the times where there are arguments and fights as times of extreme unhappiness. Now obviously when you fight with your spouse of are upset with them and their actions we feel unhappy and the obvious solution seems to be to eliminate those fights and confrontations. This is correct; however it is a simplistic view of how to stay happy in a marriage for a few reasons:
As you can see none of these have any great appeal and perhaps you see some of yourself in these methods which is quite normal as nearly all marriages have some elements of the above points in them.
So how do you stop the arguments? How do you end the friction? How do you also keep the excitement and love? Firstly:
Friction is inevitable!
Unless you are almost exactly the same as your partner in every way there will come disagreements. There will be friction and there will be habits of your other half that annoy you no end and it will break that perfect marriage feeling at some point.
This as you can see is not unusual and while not welcomed it should be expected and as such you should be mentally and emotionally prepared for it. One trick to remaining happy in a marriage is to always remember that the bad times will go and each time a challenge to your marital happiness emerges it is a time to not lose faith and a time to work through it so that things can get back on track again.
How to Deal with the Tough Times
Getting things back on track is of course easier said than done. Issues with money, relatives, careers, children and many more can turn ugly if you do not know how to deal with them and how to deal with your spouse to come to a resolution.
The key point here is resolution. You can delay the outcome and argue it, ignore it or circumvent it but it does not go away unless a resolution is reached. This involves good communication from both partners but if you are the one trying to keep the peace and maintain a happy relationship then you need to be even more savvy with your talking skills because high emotions can make communicating and compromise difficult to achieve.
There are many ways of doing this but the core value you must learn is how to control your temper and to be the one who broaches the difficult subjects and takes charge of the conversation by not blaming, accusing or being petty in any way.
Take Charge of Your Happiness
Another element of happiness is the fact that you are in charge of your own happiness despite problems in your life. You choose to be happy and you cannot rely on anyone to make you happy. You can also not be responsible for your spouse's happiness, only your part in the equation.
For this you must be a full person where your marriage while the focal point of your life is not the entirety of your life. Friends, family, your own hobbies and so forth should be there for the mental health of yourself and your partner because a good relationship is one that is not so tightly knit that you cannot separate your own emotions from your partners and one not so loose that you lose your empathy either.
This if course is not everything your need to know on how to stay happy in marriage as there is so many nuances, tips and advice that you need to know to survive and thrive through the good times and bad that could fill many a book. In fact there are many great publications that can help you master the arts of happiness and communication in marriage that you can download off the web immediately and be reading within minutes. Click below for reviews of the best marriage guides you can download.How to Stay Happy in Marriage
This is because many people tie their entire view of happiness in a marriage to the spots of extreme joy when they know they are in love and everything seems perfect and the times where there are arguments and fights as times of extreme unhappiness. Now obviously when you fight with your spouse of are upset with them and their actions we feel unhappy and the obvious solution seems to be to eliminate those fights and confrontations. This is correct; however it is a simplistic view of how to stay happy in a marriage for a few reasons:
As you can see none of these have any great appeal and perhaps you see some of yourself in these methods which is quite normal as nearly all marriages have some elements of the above points in them.
So how do you stop the arguments? How do you end the friction? How do you also keep the excitement and love? Firstly:
Friction is inevitable!
Unless you are almost exactly the same as your partner in every way there will come disagreements. There will be friction and there will be habits of your other half that annoy you no end and it will break that perfect marriage feeling at some point.
This as you can see is not unusual and while not welcomed it should be expected and as such you should be mentally and emotionally prepared for it. One trick to remaining happy in a marriage is to always remember that the bad times will go and each time a challenge to your marital happiness emerges it is a time to not lose faith and a time to work through it so that things can get back on track again.
How to Deal with the Tough Times
Getting things back on track is of course easier said than done. Issues with money, relatives, careers, children and many more can turn ugly if you do not know how to deal with them and how to deal with your spouse to come to a resolution.
The key point here is resolution. You can delay the outcome and argue it, ignore it or circumvent it but it does not go away unless a resolution is reached. This involves good communication from both partners but if you are the one trying to keep the peace and maintain a happy relationship then you need to be even more savvy with your talking skills because high emotions can make communicating and compromise difficult to achieve.
There are many ways of doing this but the core value you must learn is how to control your temper and to be the one who broaches the difficult subjects and takes charge of the conversation by not blaming, accusing or being petty in any way.
Take Charge of Your Happiness
Another element of happiness is the fact that you are in charge of your own happiness despite problems in your life. You choose to be happy and you cannot rely on anyone to make you happy. You can also not be responsible for your spouse's happiness, only your part in the equation.
For this you must be a full person where your marriage while the focal point of your life is not the entirety of your life. Friends, family, your own hobbies and so forth should be there for the mental health of yourself and your partner because a good relationship is one that is not so tightly knit that you cannot separate your own emotions from your partners and one not so loose that you lose your empathy either.
This if course is not everything your need to know on how to stay happy in marriage as there is so many nuances, tips and advice that you need to know to survive and thrive through the good times and bad that could fill many a book. In fact there are many great publications that can help you master the arts of happiness and communication in marriage that you can download off the web immediately and be reading within minutes. Click below for reviews of the best marriage guides you can download.How to Stay Happy in Marriage
Some Tips On How To Choose Safe Playsets
It truly is every parent's job to keep their child safe, especially when they are playing. If you are planning on getting playground equipment for your back yard, then there are a couple of things that you ought to consider. Children are generally enthusiastic and excited when it comes to playsets and toys of that nature. This is why it is important to look out for their safety and well being while they are playing in the playground.
There are several accidents and injuries that children can get when playing in the playground. However, it is good to know that most of these can be avoided with extra measures. For example, the designs and location of playground equipment are important to look at. If you choose a playground with bars at the top of a slide you should choose measurements that are appropriate for your child.. Bars should be big enough to fit the child's head in so they won't get stuck. However, it should not be too wide for them to fall through either. Purchasing your play set from companies that professionally design these sets will help to remove potential problem areas. These companies are experts in safe design and will also offer information on the set up of the play sets.
You will want to keep an eye on your kid when he or she is playing. It may be easier for you to position the playset in front of a porch to get the best vantage point. Also, it should be put on an angle where it can be seen from your window, this way you will be aware of what is going on. In cases of accidents and emergencies, you can intervene right away to give first aid. To avoid slipping, you can install rubber mats on the playground. Adding cushions to the edges can also prevent a lot of bumps and bruises. You should likewise put a soft cushion at the end of the slide in case your child has a hard landing.
A lot of injuries are caused by falls, but they can be avoided by making sure that the surface of your playground won't cause too much damage. Materials such as wood, soil, and cement can definitely lead to injuries. If possible, try to put sand or wood chips to pad the surface. The kids can even make use of the area as a sand box to build imaginary castles and forts.
Inspect the playground regularly for harmful objects and see to it that everything is intact. Since most playgrounds are outdoors, you might find dangerous objects such as twigs and rocks. This is why it is very important to inspect the environment before allowing your child to play on it. Above all, the responsible thing to do when it comes to playsets is to teach your child how to value safety. They should know that rough play can lead to someone getting hurt in the end. This is not only important in playground safety but it will help your child build nurturing relationships with his or her peers as well. Especially since little kids like to imitate, the best way to do that is by being a good role model.
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There are several accidents and injuries that children can get when playing in the playground. However, it is good to know that most of these can be avoided with extra measures. For example, the designs and location of playground equipment are important to look at. If you choose a playground with bars at the top of a slide you should choose measurements that are appropriate for your child.. Bars should be big enough to fit the child's head in so they won't get stuck. However, it should not be too wide for them to fall through either. Purchasing your play set from companies that professionally design these sets will help to remove potential problem areas. These companies are experts in safe design and will also offer information on the set up of the play sets.
You will want to keep an eye on your kid when he or she is playing. It may be easier for you to position the playset in front of a porch to get the best vantage point. Also, it should be put on an angle where it can be seen from your window, this way you will be aware of what is going on. In cases of accidents and emergencies, you can intervene right away to give first aid. To avoid slipping, you can install rubber mats on the playground. Adding cushions to the edges can also prevent a lot of bumps and bruises. You should likewise put a soft cushion at the end of the slide in case your child has a hard landing.
A lot of injuries are caused by falls, but they can be avoided by making sure that the surface of your playground won't cause too much damage. Materials such as wood, soil, and cement can definitely lead to injuries. If possible, try to put sand or wood chips to pad the surface. The kids can even make use of the area as a sand box to build imaginary castles and forts.
Inspect the playground regularly for harmful objects and see to it that everything is intact. Since most playgrounds are outdoors, you might find dangerous objects such as twigs and rocks. This is why it is very important to inspect the environment before allowing your child to play on it. Above all, the responsible thing to do when it comes to playsets is to teach your child how to value safety. They should know that rough play can lead to someone getting hurt in the end. This is not only important in playground safety but it will help your child build nurturing relationships with his or her peers as well. Especially since little kids like to imitate, the best way to do that is by being a good role model.
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There Are Easy Ways To Find Baby Clothes That Are Cheap
You can keep your baby safe and warm all year long with high quality garments, and there are lots of ways to get these baby clothes and save money. Your town has places to shop, as does the Internet, so you have lots of places to choose from. You can sometimes find baby clothes for free, if you keep on the lookout for all possible sources. Finding cheap baby clothes is easy when you use the following tips, and where you live doesn't matter.
You can peruse yard sales and garage sales to come across some nice baby clothing. Aside from this, there are many other types of events where you might find them, such as rummage sales held by churches, library fairs and flea markets. People who are about to move elsewhere are trying to purge some things quickly and moving sales are generally the most excellent for finding great deals because those people practically give their stuff away. With any such sales, it's customary to offer people less than the original asking price. If the price is already very low, you may not want to risk offending the person by offering them even less, but in general bargaining is accepted wherever used items are sold.
Sometimes, the best source for cheap or even free baby clothing is in your present circle of friends and family. People, when they get to where they are no longer having children, might have baby clothes they want to get rid of. You can casually ask around and see if anyone has such items that you could use. Either a reasonable price to buy, or something to trade are both things you can offer for the items. It is understandable that you can get baby clothes from your family for free, but in many cases co-workers and friends will do it as well. Social networks are a great place for you to advertise your need for baby clothes. When people have things they no longer need, they are usually more than happy to get rid of such things.
Clothing swaps can be the perfect place to find baby clothes without having to pay anything for them. Your town has plenty of parents, so you should organize your own swap. When parents with children of all ages come together with the purpose of exchanging clothing, it can be a benefit to the neighborhood children. A large turnout is needed to be successful, and this will take inviting everyone possible, and this will take good planning.
There are many different things you can do, such as mention it on Facebook, tell your co-workers and your friends, put up flyers, and anything else you can come up with. Not only is this an opportunity for everyone to leave with some useful items of clothing, but it can be a fun social event. Now you know that baby clothes can be found for free, or at least quite cheaply. There are so many places where they can be found, and you will probably be amazed that you have never seen them before. Whenever you are looking for baby clothes, bargains are easy to come by, but that can't be said about all of the expenses the parents are responsible for. You need to take advantage of them when you come across them.
----------------------------------------------------
You can peruse yard sales and garage sales to come across some nice baby clothing. Aside from this, there are many other types of events where you might find them, such as rummage sales held by churches, library fairs and flea markets. People who are about to move elsewhere are trying to purge some things quickly and moving sales are generally the most excellent for finding great deals because those people practically give their stuff away. With any such sales, it's customary to offer people less than the original asking price. If the price is already very low, you may not want to risk offending the person by offering them even less, but in general bargaining is accepted wherever used items are sold.
Sometimes, the best source for cheap or even free baby clothing is in your present circle of friends and family. People, when they get to where they are no longer having children, might have baby clothes they want to get rid of. You can casually ask around and see if anyone has such items that you could use. Either a reasonable price to buy, or something to trade are both things you can offer for the items. It is understandable that you can get baby clothes from your family for free, but in many cases co-workers and friends will do it as well. Social networks are a great place for you to advertise your need for baby clothes. When people have things they no longer need, they are usually more than happy to get rid of such things.
Clothing swaps can be the perfect place to find baby clothes without having to pay anything for them. Your town has plenty of parents, so you should organize your own swap. When parents with children of all ages come together with the purpose of exchanging clothing, it can be a benefit to the neighborhood children. A large turnout is needed to be successful, and this will take inviting everyone possible, and this will take good planning.
There are many different things you can do, such as mention it on Facebook, tell your co-workers and your friends, put up flyers, and anything else you can come up with. Not only is this an opportunity for everyone to leave with some useful items of clothing, but it can be a fun social event. Now you know that baby clothes can be found for free, or at least quite cheaply. There are so many places where they can be found, and you will probably be amazed that you have never seen them before. Whenever you are looking for baby clothes, bargains are easy to come by, but that can't be said about all of the expenses the parents are responsible for. You need to take advantage of them when you come across them.
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Jumat, 23 Maret 2012
Tips On Bullying in School - Sports - Martial Arts
Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts Presents Parenting Tips on Bullying in School
Virginia Beach Martial Arts- Taekwondo-Karate- -Krav MagaChesapeake Martial Arts- Taekwondo-Karate- -Krav Maga
Senior Master Tracy Lee Thomas of Changing Lives Martial Arts is sad to find out that almost 10% of school age children are the victims of a bully. Bullying is most common by the second grade and occurs throughout life. Bullying can be both physical and verbal, and can range from mild teasing to pushing and hitting. Bullying is even done quite often on the internet.
The team of instructors at Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake, Virginia is trying to make a difference by building strong leaders in the community through Martial Arts and Krav Maga. It concerns Tracy Lee Thomas that children are being victimized by their peers. Being a victim of a bully can lead to a child avoiding school and developing anxiety about attending class.
Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts has an Anti-Bullying Karate for Kids Program and encourages parents to enroll their children.
Research and various case studies show us that victims of bullies are usually stereotyped as being loners, passive, quiet, sensitive, anxious, and with low self-esteem they are often smaller and/or weaker than the other children of the same age and they may even come from an overprotective home. Being a victim of a bully can cause your child to feel insecure, lower their self-confidence and have feelings of low self-worth and poor self-esteem. This may ultimately lead to depression and/or violence, either against themselves or against the bully. Awareness is the key for parents, watching for changes in attitude, behavior and daily actions states Sr. Master Instructor, Tracy Lee Thomas.
Unfortunately, victims of bullies often do not seek help or confide in anyone about the bullying, either because of shame or embarrassment or fear that it will be worse if the bully finds out. It is important to look for signs in your children. One of these signs could be, school avoidance behaviors, especially chronic nonspecific complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches, or they may have trouble sleeping. Also, if your child seems afraid or anxious about going to school, has a change in his/her personality or his/her behavior, or a change in his/her grades, you should consider that he/she may be a victim of a bully at school. Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts teaches students and the youth within the community LIFE SKILLS that will change a childs life and teach themDont Be A Target and Dont Be A Victim in life. Quality Life Skills such as; Self-Respect, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence and enhanced social skills offer our students the ability to manage these concerns stat es, Changing Lives Martial Arts Master Instructor.
If you suspect that your child may be a victim of a bully, you can ask them if they are being teased at school, or ask more open-ended questions, such as What do you like to do at recess? or Who do you sit with at lunch? Be open and listen to your child and most of all utilize your instinct as a parent.
Children are most often bullied at school, usually on the playground or at lunchtime when children are more likely to have minimal supervision, or it may occur in the hallways between classes or on the school bus. In any situation, the better supervised children are, the less likely that bullying will occur. Role playing on how to deal with verbal and physical bullying is taught in classes at Changing Lives Martial Arts in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake, Virginia.
Children who are bullies may have problems with low self-esteem, but newer theories argue that bullies are driven more by a desire to have power over others and to be in control because they have poor self-esteem and that they have little empathy for their victims. They may also be aggressive, bossy, controlling, have a low level of self control, and have difficulty making friends. Bullies are also more likely to develop criminal behaviors as adults. Characteristics such as these are not accepted or healthy in any community. Changing Lives Martial Arts teaches how to strategically recognize, manage and deal with such improper behavior.
While this may help you understand why a bully acts the way they do, this doesnt necessarily help your child deal with the problem when it occurs. Changing Lives Martial Arts offers classes that deal directly with these concerns. Things that you should avoid include teaching your child to fight back, since they may get hurt and it may also get him/her in trouble at school. We need to teach our children to be assertive and to show self-confidence at all times. Interact socially, and become a user of quality life skills that will protect them from becoming a victim.
Parents often turn to enrolling their children in a martial arts program, and while this can be helpful to build their self-esteem and help them be more assertive, the goal of taking the classes should not be so that he/she can fight back but to instill confidence and enhance their self-esteem. Changing Lives Martial Arts teaches two levels of Anti-Bullying, Level I is Safe Defense through quality life skills they learn the Dont Be A Target program. First and foremost they need to demonstrate and hold themselves in a manner that is not one that bullies see as a target. Second, they learn Self Defense through verbal practice and physical drills and skills students become aware of how a bully may attack them as an individual.
It may also help to talk with school officials about the problem (so that they can better supervise your child, observe the bully and intervene when necessary) and teach your child not to respond too strongly to the bully (either by crying or giving in to demands), because the bully is more likely to continue bullying your child if he/she knows that they will get a response.
Schedule a meeting between the parents of the children involved and school officials so everyone is aware and the potential and harmful threat may be dealt with.
Changing Lives Martial Arts can teach your child to walk away (but while staying calm and not running), tell the bully to stop and leave him/her alone, or to use humor and come up with a good comeback when a bully teases him/her. It can also help if your child has high self-esteem and if he/she has some strong friendships, so that he/she is less of a target. Teaching your child to make eye contact with others (especially the bully) and to talk with a strong voice may also help. Role playing situations where he/she is bullied may be helpful in teaching how to respond.
It is also important for the bully to understand that bullying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. If the bullying behavior or other aggressive behaviors persist, then he/she may need to speak with a trusted adult like a family member, friend or even their martial arts instructor as a mentor.
No one should ever become a Target or Victim in life. CLMA takes bullying serious and stands to protect the youth within the community. STAND UP & STAND PROUD!
Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts has 5 locations in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake. For a location near you please call 757-471-9002. ATA Martial Arts offers a 3 Day Anti-Bullying Confidence Course to help children understand the consequences of bullying and being bullied. Call an academy near you to enroll now!
Virginia Beach Martial Arts- Taekwondo-Karate- -Krav MagaChesapeake Martial Arts- Taekwondo-Karate- -Krav Maga
Senior Master Tracy Lee Thomas of Changing Lives Martial Arts is sad to find out that almost 10% of school age children are the victims of a bully. Bullying is most common by the second grade and occurs throughout life. Bullying can be both physical and verbal, and can range from mild teasing to pushing and hitting. Bullying is even done quite often on the internet.
The team of instructors at Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake, Virginia is trying to make a difference by building strong leaders in the community through Martial Arts and Krav Maga. It concerns Tracy Lee Thomas that children are being victimized by their peers. Being a victim of a bully can lead to a child avoiding school and developing anxiety about attending class.
Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts has an Anti-Bullying Karate for Kids Program and encourages parents to enroll their children.
Research and various case studies show us that victims of bullies are usually stereotyped as being loners, passive, quiet, sensitive, anxious, and with low self-esteem they are often smaller and/or weaker than the other children of the same age and they may even come from an overprotective home. Being a victim of a bully can cause your child to feel insecure, lower their self-confidence and have feelings of low self-worth and poor self-esteem. This may ultimately lead to depression and/or violence, either against themselves or against the bully. Awareness is the key for parents, watching for changes in attitude, behavior and daily actions states Sr. Master Instructor, Tracy Lee Thomas.
Unfortunately, victims of bullies often do not seek help or confide in anyone about the bullying, either because of shame or embarrassment or fear that it will be worse if the bully finds out. It is important to look for signs in your children. One of these signs could be, school avoidance behaviors, especially chronic nonspecific complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches, or they may have trouble sleeping. Also, if your child seems afraid or anxious about going to school, has a change in his/her personality or his/her behavior, or a change in his/her grades, you should consider that he/she may be a victim of a bully at school. Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts teaches students and the youth within the community LIFE SKILLS that will change a childs life and teach themDont Be A Target and Dont Be A Victim in life. Quality Life Skills such as; Self-Respect, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence and enhanced social skills offer our students the ability to manage these concerns stat es, Changing Lives Martial Arts Master Instructor.
If you suspect that your child may be a victim of a bully, you can ask them if they are being teased at school, or ask more open-ended questions, such as What do you like to do at recess? or Who do you sit with at lunch? Be open and listen to your child and most of all utilize your instinct as a parent.
Children are most often bullied at school, usually on the playground or at lunchtime when children are more likely to have minimal supervision, or it may occur in the hallways between classes or on the school bus. In any situation, the better supervised children are, the less likely that bullying will occur. Role playing on how to deal with verbal and physical bullying is taught in classes at Changing Lives Martial Arts in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake, Virginia.
Children who are bullies may have problems with low self-esteem, but newer theories argue that bullies are driven more by a desire to have power over others and to be in control because they have poor self-esteem and that they have little empathy for their victims. They may also be aggressive, bossy, controlling, have a low level of self control, and have difficulty making friends. Bullies are also more likely to develop criminal behaviors as adults. Characteristics such as these are not accepted or healthy in any community. Changing Lives Martial Arts teaches how to strategically recognize, manage and deal with such improper behavior.
While this may help you understand why a bully acts the way they do, this doesnt necessarily help your child deal with the problem when it occurs. Changing Lives Martial Arts offers classes that deal directly with these concerns. Things that you should avoid include teaching your child to fight back, since they may get hurt and it may also get him/her in trouble at school. We need to teach our children to be assertive and to show self-confidence at all times. Interact socially, and become a user of quality life skills that will protect them from becoming a victim.
Parents often turn to enrolling their children in a martial arts program, and while this can be helpful to build their self-esteem and help them be more assertive, the goal of taking the classes should not be so that he/she can fight back but to instill confidence and enhance their self-esteem. Changing Lives Martial Arts teaches two levels of Anti-Bullying, Level I is Safe Defense through quality life skills they learn the Dont Be A Target program. First and foremost they need to demonstrate and hold themselves in a manner that is not one that bullies see as a target. Second, they learn Self Defense through verbal practice and physical drills and skills students become aware of how a bully may attack them as an individual.
It may also help to talk with school officials about the problem (so that they can better supervise your child, observe the bully and intervene when necessary) and teach your child not to respond too strongly to the bully (either by crying or giving in to demands), because the bully is more likely to continue bullying your child if he/she knows that they will get a response.
Schedule a meeting between the parents of the children involved and school officials so everyone is aware and the potential and harmful threat may be dealt with.
Changing Lives Martial Arts can teach your child to walk away (but while staying calm and not running), tell the bully to stop and leave him/her alone, or to use humor and come up with a good comeback when a bully teases him/her. It can also help if your child has high self-esteem and if he/she has some strong friendships, so that he/she is less of a target. Teaching your child to make eye contact with others (especially the bully) and to talk with a strong voice may also help. Role playing situations where he/she is bullied may be helpful in teaching how to respond.
It is also important for the bully to understand that bullying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. If the bullying behavior or other aggressive behaviors persist, then he/she may need to speak with a trusted adult like a family member, friend or even their martial arts instructor as a mentor.
No one should ever become a Target or Victim in life. CLMA takes bullying serious and stands to protect the youth within the community. STAND UP & STAND PROUD!
Changing Lives ATA Martial Arts has 5 locations in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake. For a location near you please call 757-471-9002. ATA Martial Arts offers a 3 Day Anti-Bullying Confidence Course to help children understand the consequences of bullying and being bullied. Call an academy near you to enroll now!
3 Tips That Help To Deal With Breakup Emotions
So you recently suffered a breakup? You probably feel crummy about the entire experience. It's likely you are suffering a bit of depression and feel lonely. It can take an extraordinary amount of strength to get out of bed to face the day but you know you have to do this. You have to find the strength somehow when thinking of wanting to make up with your ex and dealing with the emotions.
If you didn't know, those feelings are completely normal to have. When you go through a breakup, life can feel like it's been ripped out from underneath you. You're probably crushed. Of course, this all means you had to care for your ex to feel the way you do. Chances are… you did.
While it's completely natural to feel your pain, never let it rule your actions and never it stop you from putting one foot in front of the other to move on with life. Not to say you won't feel like utter garbage in the first few days even weeks after the breakup, just don't let the depressing emotions drag you around for so long. Take those hurtful feelings you have and make them into something different. Would you believe that you could use pain to your advantage? How?
For starters, break off any and all contact with your ex. When you are constantly seeing each other, you had more friction to the mess and the gap between the both of you is likely to get bigger. Instead, use this time to work on your issues and be a stronger person. Yes, this no contact rule can help you win your ex back, despite what you may believe.
Secondly, stick with the people who care about you. You'll find that these are the folks that will love you no matter how bad the situation is. They are wonderful distractions for you to deal with the aftermath. Don't forget to stay in physical shape as well. When you are healthy in body, you are also healthy in mind.
Third, never turn to illegal substances or alcohol for the easy way out. These never work and tend to make a bad situation worse. These substances typically impair your judgment and you may do things that you normally would not have done such as drunken dialing. When you are working to get your ex back, you should never use these as a way to deal with the pain.
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Visit http://www.ex-back.com and discover how to use tiny text messages sent from your cell phone to create attraction, heal old wounds, and repair your relationship so you can start fresh with your ex.
EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=260315
If you didn't know, those feelings are completely normal to have. When you go through a breakup, life can feel like it's been ripped out from underneath you. You're probably crushed. Of course, this all means you had to care for your ex to feel the way you do. Chances are… you did.
While it's completely natural to feel your pain, never let it rule your actions and never it stop you from putting one foot in front of the other to move on with life. Not to say you won't feel like utter garbage in the first few days even weeks after the breakup, just don't let the depressing emotions drag you around for so long. Take those hurtful feelings you have and make them into something different. Would you believe that you could use pain to your advantage? How?
For starters, break off any and all contact with your ex. When you are constantly seeing each other, you had more friction to the mess and the gap between the both of you is likely to get bigger. Instead, use this time to work on your issues and be a stronger person. Yes, this no contact rule can help you win your ex back, despite what you may believe.
Secondly, stick with the people who care about you. You'll find that these are the folks that will love you no matter how bad the situation is. They are wonderful distractions for you to deal with the aftermath. Don't forget to stay in physical shape as well. When you are healthy in body, you are also healthy in mind.
Third, never turn to illegal substances or alcohol for the easy way out. These never work and tend to make a bad situation worse. These substances typically impair your judgment and you may do things that you normally would not have done such as drunken dialing. When you are working to get your ex back, you should never use these as a way to deal with the pain.
----------------------------------------------------
Visit http://www.ex-back.com and discover how to use tiny text messages sent from your cell phone to create attraction, heal old wounds, and repair your relationship so you can start fresh with your ex.
EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=260315
Who is Albert Hobdell Sausage?
One evening I read an old book that I have put it under my piles. I have never opened the book for long time. I was amazed by the story of Albert ‘Obdel sausage. I would share the story with you.
Albert Hobdell story was a caretaker at Greyfriars Street School in Manchester. He was a creative man. He could make anything from fishing rod to a dining table but he couldn’t write and read. He couldn’t say his name properly. He said “Albert ‘Obdel.
One day, the headmaster , Mr.Brown retired and Mr. Johnson came in his place. Mr. Brown was different from Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson was efficient and up to date. If anyone was inefficient he had to go. Mr. Johnson made “time book” every staff had to sign in the morning and in the evening. One day Mr. Hobdell had to sign on the time book. How did he sign he couldn’t even write his name? Finally he was fired.
Mr. Hobdell lived in a little house. He used to have a plate of sausages to cheer him up. Unfortunately, Mrs. Wigs who sold sausages had died. The shop was empty now. Mr. Hobdell felt lonely and sad. “No sausages for tonight” he said. He had an idea. He would take Mrs. Wigs’ shop with his little money and sell sausages. Soon, he bought the shop and started selling sausages. He sold fried sausages. He sold a sausage on a small stick. Before a month, he was able to employ two assistants albert hobdell sausage story read to continue
Kamis, 22 Maret 2012
Bullying and Sexuality: Enough is Enough - Health - Mental Health
Bullying is not a new problem that we are facing. For years, we've published books about it, and seen episodes depicted on film and television. Today, unfortunately, we are seeing more and more incidents of bullying on tragic evening news stories rather than quirky sit-coms in which the victims stands up to his tormenter. If bullying isn't becoming more prevalent or more aggressive in our society, it is at least becoming more visible.
Bullying is defined as aggressive behavior that manifests as a habitual occurrence, and is triggered by a perceived imbalance of power; it is commonly directed at victims who differ in race, religion, and sexuality. This behavior can involve any type of abuse including emotional abuse, verbal abuse, or physical abuse. Emotional and verbal abuse has always been difficult for authorities to recognize and act upon; today, the situation is further complicated by the use of the internet and the emergence of "cyber-bullying" or emotional and verbal harassment via IM, email, and other technology.
We are seeing more and more homosexual teens and young adults fall victim to bullying at school and the workplace. The media is displaying a growing number of stories about teenagers who are identifying themselves at homosexual being harassed at school and via the Internet about their sexuality; the stories we see on the news don't have the happy sit-com endings. It seems rare that the abusive behavior results in a moment of life-changing action. Instead, victims feel the impact of this harassment as depression, low self-esteem and self-worth, health problems, poor grades and performance, and suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately, the effects of bullying for any reason, including sexuality, are felt more commonly that many of us would like to believe. In fact, the statistics related to bullying in secondary schools alone in 2011 are staggering:
1 out of 4 teenagers are bullied at school. 9 out of 10 LGBT students are harassed at school or online. 1 out of 5 school aged children admit to being a bully, or bullying someone. 8 out of 10 occasions, an argument with a bully ends with physical violence. In instances of bullying, adults intervene 4% of the time and peers intervene 11% of the time. 85% of these instances have no intervention.
Bullying doesn't end when we leave the playground. A large number of LGTB adults experience bullying in their day-to-day lives. Bullies still exist in both the social scene and the work place. Adult bullies attack their victims with verbal abuse and humiliation; it is still the same play to make them feel like they are the dominate person in the scenario, possessing power over another. Workplace bullying can come in many forms. Some of these include shouting at an employee or other verbal abuse, singling out an employee for unjustified criticism, excluding an employee from company activities, constantly ignoring an employee's contributions to projects, or language and action used with the intent to embarrass or humiliate a single employee repeatedly.
Unfortunately, many feel that there is little that can be done to break this cycle of workplace aggression. Popular suggestions include working with supervisors to make others aware of the situation and trying to avoid confron tation.If you find yourself, your teen, or someone you know involved with a bully as a result of their sexuality or other differences, consider these steps to cope with the problem:
1. Talk to someone about your experiences: Being bullied at school or in the office can be a humiliating experience. That does not mean that you should keep the instance or instances to yourself. Talk to your friends, family, and other means of support about your experience. Discuss how you feel about the scenario, and how the bully's actions made you feel about yourself. Alerting people to your problem will help them keep better watch over you. If aware of the problems, your friends and family may be able to watch for signs of depression, and may also be able to help you avoid your bully in the future.
2. Alert authorities about your problem: In the majority of situations, there is someone who is in the position to help you with your tormenter. If you are experiencing any form of harassment, you should alert the authorities at school, your HR representative or manager at work, the manager of a business you are visiting, or even the bouncer at a concert or club. Remember that it may not be possible for the authorities to take immediate action on your behalf, especially if you are only experiencing verbal abuse with no witnesses. However, alerting the people in a position to monitor these events may trigger them to keep a closer watch on the situation, accumulate evidence of the occurrences, and be ready to take action if the harassment continues. You should also remember that, if the harassment become violent, the law is often on your side.
3. Be careful in situations where you can be harassed: Though it may seem unfair, often the best way to avoid being bullied is to avoid the bully. As adults, we are more able to walk away from situations where we may experience harassment. In occasions when this is not possible, a large group may be a deterrent for the bully; it is usually difficult for one person, even one who is aggressive, to face their victim when they are outnumbered.
4. Be assertive and remember your rights: When faced with verbal and emotional harassment, sometimes a display of strength and assertiveness will work in your favor. Do not encourage a bully at school or in the workplace by fighting back with verbal barbs or physical violence. Instead, tell them to stop the behavior and leave you alone. Try not to show that their actions are bothering you; if they find that they are unable to break your spirits and dominate you, their harassment may stop.
In many instances, a victim of bullying may need more than a few simple tips and tools to handle the emotional stress of the harassment. If you or someone you are suffering from depression as a result of bullying behavior, you should seek professional help to begin coping with these issues. While family and friends may form a great support group for your day-to-day life, a counselor can help you work through feelings of low-self worth, depression, and suicidal thoughts that were triggered by the harassment.
Bullying is defined as aggressive behavior that manifests as a habitual occurrence, and is triggered by a perceived imbalance of power; it is commonly directed at victims who differ in race, religion, and sexuality. This behavior can involve any type of abuse including emotional abuse, verbal abuse, or physical abuse. Emotional and verbal abuse has always been difficult for authorities to recognize and act upon; today, the situation is further complicated by the use of the internet and the emergence of "cyber-bullying" or emotional and verbal harassment via IM, email, and other technology.
We are seeing more and more homosexual teens and young adults fall victim to bullying at school and the workplace. The media is displaying a growing number of stories about teenagers who are identifying themselves at homosexual being harassed at school and via the Internet about their sexuality; the stories we see on the news don't have the happy sit-com endings. It seems rare that the abusive behavior results in a moment of life-changing action. Instead, victims feel the impact of this harassment as depression, low self-esteem and self-worth, health problems, poor grades and performance, and suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately, the effects of bullying for any reason, including sexuality, are felt more commonly that many of us would like to believe. In fact, the statistics related to bullying in secondary schools alone in 2011 are staggering:
1 out of 4 teenagers are bullied at school. 9 out of 10 LGBT students are harassed at school or online. 1 out of 5 school aged children admit to being a bully, or bullying someone. 8 out of 10 occasions, an argument with a bully ends with physical violence. In instances of bullying, adults intervene 4% of the time and peers intervene 11% of the time. 85% of these instances have no intervention.
Bullying doesn't end when we leave the playground. A large number of LGTB adults experience bullying in their day-to-day lives. Bullies still exist in both the social scene and the work place. Adult bullies attack their victims with verbal abuse and humiliation; it is still the same play to make them feel like they are the dominate person in the scenario, possessing power over another. Workplace bullying can come in many forms. Some of these include shouting at an employee or other verbal abuse, singling out an employee for unjustified criticism, excluding an employee from company activities, constantly ignoring an employee's contributions to projects, or language and action used with the intent to embarrass or humiliate a single employee repeatedly.
Unfortunately, many feel that there is little that can be done to break this cycle of workplace aggression. Popular suggestions include working with supervisors to make others aware of the situation and trying to avoid confron tation.If you find yourself, your teen, or someone you know involved with a bully as a result of their sexuality or other differences, consider these steps to cope with the problem:
1. Talk to someone about your experiences: Being bullied at school or in the office can be a humiliating experience. That does not mean that you should keep the instance or instances to yourself. Talk to your friends, family, and other means of support about your experience. Discuss how you feel about the scenario, and how the bully's actions made you feel about yourself. Alerting people to your problem will help them keep better watch over you. If aware of the problems, your friends and family may be able to watch for signs of depression, and may also be able to help you avoid your bully in the future.
2. Alert authorities about your problem: In the majority of situations, there is someone who is in the position to help you with your tormenter. If you are experiencing any form of harassment, you should alert the authorities at school, your HR representative or manager at work, the manager of a business you are visiting, or even the bouncer at a concert or club. Remember that it may not be possible for the authorities to take immediate action on your behalf, especially if you are only experiencing verbal abuse with no witnesses. However, alerting the people in a position to monitor these events may trigger them to keep a closer watch on the situation, accumulate evidence of the occurrences, and be ready to take action if the harassment continues. You should also remember that, if the harassment become violent, the law is often on your side.
3. Be careful in situations where you can be harassed: Though it may seem unfair, often the best way to avoid being bullied is to avoid the bully. As adults, we are more able to walk away from situations where we may experience harassment. In occasions when this is not possible, a large group may be a deterrent for the bully; it is usually difficult for one person, even one who is aggressive, to face their victim when they are outnumbered.
4. Be assertive and remember your rights: When faced with verbal and emotional harassment, sometimes a display of strength and assertiveness will work in your favor. Do not encourage a bully at school or in the workplace by fighting back with verbal barbs or physical violence. Instead, tell them to stop the behavior and leave you alone. Try not to show that their actions are bothering you; if they find that they are unable to break your spirits and dominate you, their harassment may stop.
In many instances, a victim of bullying may need more than a few simple tips and tools to handle the emotional stress of the harassment. If you or someone you are suffering from depression as a result of bullying behavior, you should seek professional help to begin coping with these issues. While family and friends may form a great support group for your day-to-day life, a counselor can help you work through feelings of low-self worth, depression, and suicidal thoughts that were triggered by the harassment.
Rabu, 21 Maret 2012
How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You - Family - Parenting
IN REVIEW OF "NO-NONSENSE PARENTING FOR TODAY'S TEENAGER - How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You" Here's a sneak peek at what you'll discover in YOU WILL GET THE FOLLOWING:-
1.How to Get your child to clean up their room without any ultimatums. Get your teen to follow the simple rules of the house ie. pick up their messes in the kitchen and put the dishes in the dishwasher, etc.
2. simple ways to open up the lines of communication and affectively learn new strategies to stop the arguing and breaking the rule
3. Tired of your kid lying to you? How to handle the constant lying. One parent even asked me, "How can I discuss anything with my children, even if they are going to lie to me anyways?"....and so I answered that question right in my book.
4 The Best Method to stop physical and verbal abusive behavior from your teenager. Discover how to prevent your abusive teen's attitude from getting out of hand. Find out what to say and do when your daughter or son is in a full blown rage? Learn what to do if you don't feel safe in your home.
5. The little-known way to learn how to deal with texting, cell phones and computer addictions - learn how to com pete and cope with a teen who's Always Connected.
6. Uncover what to do if your teen is sexually active or is being promiscuous.
7. 5 Proven Steps to what to do when your teenager is defiant, obnoxious or disrespectful towards you. What you can do if your teenager even ignores you and refuses to communicate with you too.
8. Single Parent? A unique plan to keeping yourself from going crazy. Steps on how to handle your teen when they expect you to do everything for them, without any gratitude, appreciation for your hard earned money or any expectation on their part to get a job. As one parent put it, "I'm just the mail and the money giver". Well, you can say - No More to that!
9. 2 simple keys on how to deal with anger and rude behavior. If you don't feel like coming home from work because of your demanding, unbearable, cursing teenager who has all the control...learn how to regain control of your home and make it the peaceful place that you look forward to coming home to again.
10 . Discover 2 reasons why some teenagers constantly lie. Learn how to punish lying severely: uncover how to reward honesty and personal responsibility in order to get them to stop the destructive habit of lying.
11. 3 tricks to get your lazy teenager to actually do his chores, do his homework and be on time. Great techniques to teach your teenager to comply with your rules and to learn to take responsibility for their actions. Stamp out your teen from doing things in the last minute or even saying things like, "Ya, in a minute".
12. How to STOP your kid from abusing people he/she should love including you as him/her #1 victim. Say no more to your teenager using this abusive behaviour to get his or her way and to making you feel guilty. Find out what to do if your teen breaks things that belong you, trashes your house or threatens you physically.
13. AMAZING! Discover in a matter of minutes how to teach your son or daughter to have more respect for you as a single parent. Plus h ow to handle disrespectful behavior out in public or in front of your friends or relatives.
14. New Powerful tips on avoiding the almighty power struggles with your child. Learn how not to get 'sucked in' to his or her manipulations. Do this and your teen will give up trying to 'push your buttons'.
15. The Latest Coping Skills on how to deal with medical issues like ADHD problems, Bipolar Disorder, Depression and thoughts of suicide.
16 Have you ever said this? - 'Will you two just get along?' - How to handle sibling rivalry. When to accept, and not accept, help from extended family. ie. from grandparents, uncle and aunts, etc.
17. 25 sure-fire ways to deal with step parenting and foster parenting challenges. When you feel like you keep getting the "you are not my mother, so I don't have to listen to you" look...how to deal with the huge issues of at least getting some respect from your step-son or step-daughter.
18. Teach your teen about money issues and get him or her to finall y realize that 'money doesn't grow on trees' and how to respect the value of money.
19. How to handle the immaturity of your ex-spouse's parenting style. Learn what to say to get him or her on your side without the arguing and bickering.
20. How to help your child deal with anger, grief and coping issues related to death or dying parent. What to do if your teen starts to rebel to changes at home, a move away from friends or new partners in the picture. How to show him or her that you care for their loss.
21. How to handle your teenager's Immaturity, Inability to cope with reality or their Entitlement mentality. How to handle laziness or lack of motivation with your child.
22. What you need to know about sexuality with your teenage daughter or teenage son. How to handle teen love and relationship problems. How to help your teen cope with life's disappointments and breakups. You think your teen is gay, but you're not sure. How to understand and cope with a homosexual teenager as a parent.
23. A free and easy way to communicate the message 'I love you' but 'I do not love this behavior', even if your teen simply doesn't care if you do.
24. Have you been looking for this for ages? New Discovery - Learn how exercising can literally turn any aggressive or hyperactive teenager around - they'll be more relaxed, have better grades, plus more great results.
25. Bullying and Cyber Bullying - what to do if your child is being bullied or what if it's your teen who is the bully at school. How to stop it. How to build confidence in your child to say no to negative peer pressure.
26. REVEALED! The hidden reality behind teenage drug & alcohol abuse and drinking & driving car crashes. Learn when to intervene to save your teen's life. Learn how to set limits, boundaries and consequences when it comes to teen substance abuse. When your teen is ready to drive - what you should expect from your teen in order to keep him/her safe and alive.
27. A successful way to handle your own moral and low self-esteem as a parent and stop feeling like a victim of your teens undesired abuse.
28 How to give positive encouragement to your teenager. Learn how to let go and trust your teen.
29. The Secret Weapon for ultimately feeling like a good parent even when your teenager hates you: Learn that you are doing the right things for your teenager and to never leave guilt get in the way of being a disciplinary parent.
30. What you must do when the going gets tough with your disrespectful teenager. What to do when you feel like giving up. The good news - how you and your child can and will survive the teen years. And that's just a fraction of what you'll find out in "NO-NONSENSE PARENTING FOR TODAY'S TEENAGER - How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You" That's why you should own this book today (in fact, you can be reading in as little as 5 minutes from now!).
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1.How to Get your child to clean up their room without any ultimatums. Get your teen to follow the simple rules of the house ie. pick up their messes in the kitchen and put the dishes in the dishwasher, etc.
2. simple ways to open up the lines of communication and affectively learn new strategies to stop the arguing and breaking the rule
3. Tired of your kid lying to you? How to handle the constant lying. One parent even asked me, "How can I discuss anything with my children, even if they are going to lie to me anyways?"....and so I answered that question right in my book.
4 The Best Method to stop physical and verbal abusive behavior from your teenager. Discover how to prevent your abusive teen's attitude from getting out of hand. Find out what to say and do when your daughter or son is in a full blown rage? Learn what to do if you don't feel safe in your home.
5. The little-known way to learn how to deal with texting, cell phones and computer addictions - learn how to com pete and cope with a teen who's Always Connected.
6. Uncover what to do if your teen is sexually active or is being promiscuous.
7. 5 Proven Steps to what to do when your teenager is defiant, obnoxious or disrespectful towards you. What you can do if your teenager even ignores you and refuses to communicate with you too.
8. Single Parent? A unique plan to keeping yourself from going crazy. Steps on how to handle your teen when they expect you to do everything for them, without any gratitude, appreciation for your hard earned money or any expectation on their part to get a job. As one parent put it, "I'm just the mail and the money giver". Well, you can say - No More to that!
9. 2 simple keys on how to deal with anger and rude behavior. If you don't feel like coming home from work because of your demanding, unbearable, cursing teenager who has all the control...learn how to regain control of your home and make it the peaceful place that you look forward to coming home to again.
10 . Discover 2 reasons why some teenagers constantly lie. Learn how to punish lying severely: uncover how to reward honesty and personal responsibility in order to get them to stop the destructive habit of lying.
11. 3 tricks to get your lazy teenager to actually do his chores, do his homework and be on time. Great techniques to teach your teenager to comply with your rules and to learn to take responsibility for their actions. Stamp out your teen from doing things in the last minute or even saying things like, "Ya, in a minute".
12. How to STOP your kid from abusing people he/she should love including you as him/her #1 victim. Say no more to your teenager using this abusive behaviour to get his or her way and to making you feel guilty. Find out what to do if your teen breaks things that belong you, trashes your house or threatens you physically.
13. AMAZING! Discover in a matter of minutes how to teach your son or daughter to have more respect for you as a single parent. Plus h ow to handle disrespectful behavior out in public or in front of your friends or relatives.
14. New Powerful tips on avoiding the almighty power struggles with your child. Learn how not to get 'sucked in' to his or her manipulations. Do this and your teen will give up trying to 'push your buttons'.
15. The Latest Coping Skills on how to deal with medical issues like ADHD problems, Bipolar Disorder, Depression and thoughts of suicide.
16 Have you ever said this? - 'Will you two just get along?' - How to handle sibling rivalry. When to accept, and not accept, help from extended family. ie. from grandparents, uncle and aunts, etc.
17. 25 sure-fire ways to deal with step parenting and foster parenting challenges. When you feel like you keep getting the "you are not my mother, so I don't have to listen to you" look...how to deal with the huge issues of at least getting some respect from your step-son or step-daughter.
18. Teach your teen about money issues and get him or her to finall y realize that 'money doesn't grow on trees' and how to respect the value of money.
19. How to handle the immaturity of your ex-spouse's parenting style. Learn what to say to get him or her on your side without the arguing and bickering.
20. How to help your child deal with anger, grief and coping issues related to death or dying parent. What to do if your teen starts to rebel to changes at home, a move away from friends or new partners in the picture. How to show him or her that you care for their loss.
21. How to handle your teenager's Immaturity, Inability to cope with reality or their Entitlement mentality. How to handle laziness or lack of motivation with your child.
22. What you need to know about sexuality with your teenage daughter or teenage son. How to handle teen love and relationship problems. How to help your teen cope with life's disappointments and breakups. You think your teen is gay, but you're not sure. How to understand and cope with a homosexual teenager as a parent.
23. A free and easy way to communicate the message 'I love you' but 'I do not love this behavior', even if your teen simply doesn't care if you do.
24. Have you been looking for this for ages? New Discovery - Learn how exercising can literally turn any aggressive or hyperactive teenager around - they'll be more relaxed, have better grades, plus more great results.
25. Bullying and Cyber Bullying - what to do if your child is being bullied or what if it's your teen who is the bully at school. How to stop it. How to build confidence in your child to say no to negative peer pressure.
26. REVEALED! The hidden reality behind teenage drug & alcohol abuse and drinking & driving car crashes. Learn when to intervene to save your teen's life. Learn how to set limits, boundaries and consequences when it comes to teen substance abuse. When your teen is ready to drive - what you should expect from your teen in order to keep him/her safe and alive.
27. A successful way to handle your own moral and low self-esteem as a parent and stop feeling like a victim of your teens undesired abuse.
28 How to give positive encouragement to your teenager. Learn how to let go and trust your teen.
29. The Secret Weapon for ultimately feeling like a good parent even when your teenager hates you: Learn that you are doing the right things for your teenager and to never leave guilt get in the way of being a disciplinary parent.
30. What you must do when the going gets tough with your disrespectful teenager. What to do when you feel like giving up. The good news - how you and your child can and will survive the teen years. And that's just a fraction of what you'll find out in "NO-NONSENSE PARENTING FOR TODAY'S TEENAGER - How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You" That's why you should own this book today (in fact, you can be reading in as little as 5 minutes from now!).
0
Selasa, 20 Maret 2012
Good Parenting Leads To Good Behavior - Family - Parenting
Every parent, would-be parents, and those who are still planning to be parents always dream and want to be good parents to their children. However, being a good parent is not as easy as counting one, two, three. One has to strive and be determined to be a good parent. Moreover, one of the most challenging and most rewarding jobs a parent can have is raising a happy and healthy child.
As every child has a unique personality, parents must be prepared to deal with the different quirks and behaviors that each child's personality has. In order to be prepared and armed to deal with raising a child, one must strive to learn some good parenting advice and practical parenting tips. Here are some Parenting Blog's parenting tips that can help you deal successfully with your kids:What Should A Parent Do To Raise A Successful Kid?Dr. Steinberg's 10 Principles of Good Parenting
1.What you do matters. Children are good imitators and children generally imitate what their parents do. Our ch ildren generally learn from what we do whether how you treat yourself or how you treat other people. So if you want your children to have good manners and learn how to behave properly signs of a successful kid then try to act and behave in the way you want your children to behave.
2.You cannot be "too loving". According to Dr. Steinberg, it is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. He explains that the consequences of spoiling a child the actions that a spoiled child demonstrates are never due to parents showing too much love for their child. But rather, these spoiled behaviors are due to the effects of a parent giving a child things in place of love things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.
3.Be involved in your child's life. If you want your child to be confident and feeling safe, you must be involved with your child's life. You must take time to fulfill the needs of your child your love and your physical presence. It is never enough for a parent to just be involved with their child physically. A child also needs their parents to be mentally and emotionally connected to them. A parent's physical presence is not enough as every child needs love, attention, and care from their parents in order for them to feel confident and safe. Moreover, showing that you are involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or correcting it. Teachers use homework to gauge whether the child is learning or not. So, if you do their homework, you are preventing the teacher from knowing what the child is learning.
4.Adapt your parenting to fit your child. This means that parents must adapt and modify their parenting style in accordance with the child's development. Treat them accordingly. Parents must keep pace with their child's development. Parents must consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.
5.Establish and set rules. You must manage your child's behavior when he is young. Children will have a hard time learning h ow to manage their own selves when they are older and you aren't around. Make sure that at any time of the day or night, you must be aware where your child is, who he is with, and what is he doing. Take note that the rules that you have set are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.However, don't micromanage your child. Once they are in middle school, you should let the child do his own homework and make his own choices.
6.Foster your child's independence. In order to be successful in life, your child needs self-control and self-direction. To develop your child's sense of self-control, you must set limits. Likewise, to develop a sense of self-direction, you must encourage independence. Don't worry if your child pushes for autonomy for this is normal for children. Pushing for independence is also a part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel being controlled by someone else. Don't mistakenly equate a child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience.
7.Be consistent. Do not vary your rules from day to day in an unpredictable fashion. Likewise, do not enforce these on them only intermittently. Inconsistency can weaken your authority. So you must be consistent as this is your most significant disciplinary tool. Remember, the more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.
8.Avoid harsh discipline. Never hit a child, under any circumstances. According to Steinberg, "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children." And because children learn by example, they are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.
9.Explain your rules and decisions. Parents must take time to explain the rules and decisions being imposed. Moreover, in explaining, you must consider the child's age. You must make explanations that are understandable to his age. Do not over explain or under explain. Remembe r that what is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment, or experience that you have.
10.Treat your child with respect. If you want to be respected by your children, the best way to get this is to treat them respectfully. Give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Be kind to them. Children treat others in the same way their parents treat them. Remember that the foundation for your child's relationships with others is your relationship with him
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Parenting Tips on How to Get Kids to Stop Inappropriate Behavior1.Validate your child's feelings.
1.Give importance to your child's feelings, do not disregard them
2.Acknowledge your child. Show to your child that you notice them. Tell them in words that you love them and care for them. Children need constant reminders of your love.
3.Give information instead of judgments. Explain to them the consequence of their inappropriate behavior. Do not make judgments. Instead, explain to them that their behavior is inappropriate.
4.If your child is older than 7 or 8 and they are doing something you don't want them to do, ask them these questions: What were you thinking when you did that?What were the consequences?How did you feel after you did or didn't do it?Was it worth it?Would you do it differently next time? What would you do?
5.Teach your children to look inside for answers. Teach them how to look internally. Teach them, not nag them, the right decisions for certain situations by explaining to them the consequences of these situations.
In this way, when they are faced with a negative situation like someone offers them drugs, they would remember to look internally and be reminded of the negative consequences that you have told them ever since they were little.Parenting Tips To Get Kids To Do Their Chore or Help Out Around The House Teach your child that we are a family and we need their help with the chores in order for it to be done. In this way you are giving your child a purpose and making them feel important.Teach your child that there are times that we have to do things in life that we don't want to do. It is being responsible.
Have a brainstorming session. If your child does not want to do particular chores, then ask him if there are other chores he'd rather like to do. If he still refuses then talk about logical consequences.Make sure that you acknowledge each other. This would let you child know that you appreciate their help and you approve o f what they're doing.
For more parenting advice and tips, please visit Parenting Blog. Updated regularly, we serve as a guide for parents besieged by the troubles of parenthood.
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As every child has a unique personality, parents must be prepared to deal with the different quirks and behaviors that each child's personality has. In order to be prepared and armed to deal with raising a child, one must strive to learn some good parenting advice and practical parenting tips. Here are some Parenting Blog's parenting tips that can help you deal successfully with your kids:What Should A Parent Do To Raise A Successful Kid?Dr. Steinberg's 10 Principles of Good Parenting
1.What you do matters. Children are good imitators and children generally imitate what their parents do. Our ch ildren generally learn from what we do whether how you treat yourself or how you treat other people. So if you want your children to have good manners and learn how to behave properly signs of a successful kid then try to act and behave in the way you want your children to behave.
2.You cannot be "too loving". According to Dr. Steinberg, it is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. He explains that the consequences of spoiling a child the actions that a spoiled child demonstrates are never due to parents showing too much love for their child. But rather, these spoiled behaviors are due to the effects of a parent giving a child things in place of love things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.
3.Be involved in your child's life. If you want your child to be confident and feeling safe, you must be involved with your child's life. You must take time to fulfill the needs of your child your love and your physical presence. It is never enough for a parent to just be involved with their child physically. A child also needs their parents to be mentally and emotionally connected to them. A parent's physical presence is not enough as every child needs love, attention, and care from their parents in order for them to feel confident and safe. Moreover, showing that you are involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or correcting it. Teachers use homework to gauge whether the child is learning or not. So, if you do their homework, you are preventing the teacher from knowing what the child is learning.
4.Adapt your parenting to fit your child. This means that parents must adapt and modify their parenting style in accordance with the child's development. Treat them accordingly. Parents must keep pace with their child's development. Parents must consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.
5.Establish and set rules. You must manage your child's behavior when he is young. Children will have a hard time learning h ow to manage their own selves when they are older and you aren't around. Make sure that at any time of the day or night, you must be aware where your child is, who he is with, and what is he doing. Take note that the rules that you have set are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.However, don't micromanage your child. Once they are in middle school, you should let the child do his own homework and make his own choices.
6.Foster your child's independence. In order to be successful in life, your child needs self-control and self-direction. To develop your child's sense of self-control, you must set limits. Likewise, to develop a sense of self-direction, you must encourage independence. Don't worry if your child pushes for autonomy for this is normal for children. Pushing for independence is also a part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel being controlled by someone else. Don't mistakenly equate a child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience.
7.Be consistent. Do not vary your rules from day to day in an unpredictable fashion. Likewise, do not enforce these on them only intermittently. Inconsistency can weaken your authority. So you must be consistent as this is your most significant disciplinary tool. Remember, the more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.
8.Avoid harsh discipline. Never hit a child, under any circumstances. According to Steinberg, "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children." And because children learn by example, they are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.
9.Explain your rules and decisions. Parents must take time to explain the rules and decisions being imposed. Moreover, in explaining, you must consider the child's age. You must make explanations that are understandable to his age. Do not over explain or under explain. Remembe r that what is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment, or experience that you have.
10.Treat your child with respect. If you want to be respected by your children, the best way to get this is to treat them respectfully. Give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Be kind to them. Children treat others in the same way their parents treat them. Remember that the foundation for your child's relationships with others is your relationship with him
.
Parenting Tips on How to Get Kids to Stop Inappropriate Behavior1.Validate your child's feelings.
1.Give importance to your child's feelings, do not disregard them
2.Acknowledge your child. Show to your child that you notice them. Tell them in words that you love them and care for them. Children need constant reminders of your love.
3.Give information instead of judgments. Explain to them the consequence of their inappropriate behavior. Do not make judgments. Instead, explain to them that their behavior is inappropriate.
4.If your child is older than 7 or 8 and they are doing something you don't want them to do, ask them these questions: What were you thinking when you did that?What were the consequences?How did you feel after you did or didn't do it?Was it worth it?Would you do it differently next time? What would you do?
5.Teach your children to look inside for answers. Teach them how to look internally. Teach them, not nag them, the right decisions for certain situations by explaining to them the consequences of these situations.
In this way, when they are faced with a negative situation like someone offers them drugs, they would remember to look internally and be reminded of the negative consequences that you have told them ever since they were little.Parenting Tips To Get Kids To Do Their Chore or Help Out Around The House Teach your child that we are a family and we need their help with the chores in order for it to be done. In this way you are giving your child a purpose and making them feel important.Teach your child that there are times that we have to do things in life that we don't want to do. It is being responsible.
Have a brainstorming session. If your child does not want to do particular chores, then ask him if there are other chores he'd rather like to do. If he still refuses then talk about logical consequences.Make sure that you acknowledge each other. This would let you child know that you appreciate their help and you approve o f what they're doing.
For more parenting advice and tips, please visit Parenting Blog. Updated regularly, we serve as a guide for parents besieged by the troubles of parenthood.
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Senin, 19 Maret 2012
How to Prevent Bullying - Stop Bullying Before it is Too Late - Family
Bullying has become a common problem among children. Victims of bullying are unable to find out way to stop becoming subjects to this vice. This is the reason that most adults are finding out ways to prevent bullying. There may be several reasons that encourage children to bully their peers. The worst part is that bullying cases can vary in severity. Experts feel that bullying must be handled carefully & quickly. They also believe that it is easier to prevent it than to cease it once it has begun.
Bullying usually occurs in isolated areas or places where there is no supervision. Hence, it would be wise to ask your kids not to move around alone during recess or other free classes in school. Ask your child to make friends. Bullying usually occurs when the child is all alone. Ignoring a bullying act may be the best way to prevent further bullying because bullies always seek reaction from the victim & enjoy it.
Teach your child to demonstrate confidence & strength. Most of the bullying occurs because the bullies are sure that the victim is timid or not confident. It is important to avoid crying. Crying or getting disturbed is a kind of enjoyment for the bullies & they try to get more fun out of a victim that becomes upset with their actions.
Another important thing is to teach your child to respond to bullying. He or she should also develop a good self image. This will make it easier for them to prevent bullying. Let your child understand that bullying has occurred due to no fault of his or her. Let him no that accepting bullying is bad if he is targeted.
Here are some great tips coming from experts to prevent bullying:
a) Encourage your child to tell
Your child should come and tell you as soon as he gets bullied. Develop a strong bond with your child. This will encourage your child to confide in you & tell you the problem he faces in school & outside.
b) Let your child trust his teacher
Your child must trust his teacher or principal. He should inform them of anything bad that happens to him. This will help the authorities to keep an eye on certain bad activities happening inside the school & campus.
c) Demonstrate confidence
It is important to demonstrate confidence. Ask your child to be confident enough to take bullying in his stride. A confident child is not an easy target.
d) Make friends
Encourage your child to develop a strong bond of friendship with his classmates & peers of his age group. This also means that the friends should stand up for each other & be together through thick & thin.
e) How to respond
Let your child know how to respond when bullied. He should say nothing & walk away from the spot. Another way to respond in an even & firm way.
f) Avoid unsupervised areas
The child should avoid walking through unsupervised areas. He should never be alone. Let him walk through a crowded place or walk together with friends when passing through an unsupervised area.
g) Praise your child
Praising your child will raise his self esteem & give a high to his self-confidence. Remember, a confident child is less likely to be bullied.
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Bullying usually occurs in isolated areas or places where there is no supervision. Hence, it would be wise to ask your kids not to move around alone during recess or other free classes in school. Ask your child to make friends. Bullying usually occurs when the child is all alone. Ignoring a bullying act may be the best way to prevent further bullying because bullies always seek reaction from the victim & enjoy it.
Teach your child to demonstrate confidence & strength. Most of the bullying occurs because the bullies are sure that the victim is timid or not confident. It is important to avoid crying. Crying or getting disturbed is a kind of enjoyment for the bullies & they try to get more fun out of a victim that becomes upset with their actions.
Another important thing is to teach your child to respond to bullying. He or she should also develop a good self image. This will make it easier for them to prevent bullying. Let your child understand that bullying has occurred due to no fault of his or her. Let him no that accepting bullying is bad if he is targeted.
Here are some great tips coming from experts to prevent bullying:
a) Encourage your child to tell
Your child should come and tell you as soon as he gets bullied. Develop a strong bond with your child. This will encourage your child to confide in you & tell you the problem he faces in school & outside.
b) Let your child trust his teacher
Your child must trust his teacher or principal. He should inform them of anything bad that happens to him. This will help the authorities to keep an eye on certain bad activities happening inside the school & campus.
c) Demonstrate confidence
It is important to demonstrate confidence. Ask your child to be confident enough to take bullying in his stride. A confident child is not an easy target.
d) Make friends
Encourage your child to develop a strong bond of friendship with his classmates & peers of his age group. This also means that the friends should stand up for each other & be together through thick & thin.
e) How to respond
Let your child know how to respond when bullied. He should say nothing & walk away from the spot. Another way to respond in an even & firm way.
f) Avoid unsupervised areas
The child should avoid walking through unsupervised areas. He should never be alone. Let him walk through a crowded place or walk together with friends when passing through an unsupervised area.
g) Praise your child
Praising your child will raise his self esteem & give a high to his self-confidence. Remember, a confident child is less likely to be bullied.
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Jumat, 16 Maret 2012
Eugene Field - Business
BiographyField was born in St. Louis, Missouri. After the death of his mother in 1856, he was raised by a cousin, Mary Field French, in Amherst, Massachusetts.Field's father, attorney Martin Field, was famous for his representation of Dred Scott, the slave who sued for his freedom. Field filed the complaint in this famous case (Dred Scott vs. John Sandford [sic], referred to as the lawsuit that started the Civil War) on behalf of Scott in the federal court in St. Louis, Missouri.Field attended Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts.
His father, Martin Field, died when Eugene was 19, and he subsequently dropped out of Williams after eight months. Next he went to Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, but dropped out after a year. Then he went to the University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri, where his brother Roswell was also attending. He tried acting and studied law with little success. He then set off for a trip through Europe but returned to the United States six months later, penniless. Field then set to work as a journalist for the St. Joseph Gazette in Saint Joseph, Missouri, in 1875.
That same year he married Julia Comstock, with whom he had eight children. For the rest of his life he arranged for all the money he earned to be sent to his wife, saying that he had no head for money himself.Field soon rose to become city editor of the Gazette.He became known for his light, humorous articles written in a gossipy style, some of which were reprinted by other newspapers around the country. It was during this time that he wrote the famous poem Lovers Lane about a street in St. Joseph, Missouri.From 1876 through 1880 Field lived in St. Louis, first as an editorial writer for the Morning Journal and subsequently for the Times-Journal.
After a brief stint as managing editor of the Kansas City Times, he worked for two years as editor of the Denver Tribune.In 1883 Field moved to Chicago where he wrote a humorous newspaper column called S harps and Flats for the Chicago Daily News. His home in Chicago was near the intersection of N. Clarendon and W. Hutchinson in the neighborhood now known as Buena Park.He first started publishing poetry in 1879, when his poem "Christmas Treasures" appeared in A Little Book of Western Verse.
Over a dozen volumes of poetry followed and he became well known for his light-hearted poems for children, perhaps the most famous of which is "Wynken, Blynken, and Nod." Field also published a number of short stories, including "The Holy Cross" and "Daniel and the Devil."The Dinky Bird by Maxfield Parrish, an illustration from Poems of Childhood by Eugene FieldField died in Chicago at the age of 45. He is buried at the Church of the Holy Comforter in Kenilworth, Illinois. His 1901 biography by S. Thompson states that he was originally buried in Graceland Cemetery in Chicago, but his son-in-law, Senior Warden of the Church of the Holy Comforter, had him reinterred on March 7, 1926. Legacy Several of his poems were set to music with commercial success.
Many of his works were accompanied by paintings from Maxfield Parrish. His former home in St. Louis is now a museum. A memorial to him, a statue of the "Dream Lady" from his poem, "Rock-a-by-Lady" (see lyrics, below), was erected in 1922 at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. There is also a park and fieldhouse named in his honor in Chicago's Albany Park neighborhood.Field has his own star on the St. Louis Walk of Fame. Numerous elementary schools throughout the Midwest are named for him, e.g. Eugene Field Elementary School in Wheeling, Illinois, Park Ridge, Illinois, St. Joseph, Missouri, Hannibal, Missouri, Columbia, Missouri, Manhattan, KansasSioux Falls, South Dakota and Beaumont, Texas.
There is also a Eugene Field Elementary School in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Littleton, Colorado, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Altus, Oklahoma, and San Diego, California. A dormitory in the Orchard Hill residential area at the University of Massachusetts Amherst also bears Field's name.Field has been credited with one of the most devastating witticisms in the history of dramatic criticism.
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Mahathir mohammad, osama bin laden, ibn taymiyyah,Shakespeare, J F kennedy,Soekarno , Bill Gates , Bonnie Prince Charlie , Florence Nightingale , Horace Austin Warner Tabor , Bruce Lee , Che Guevara , Malcolm x, Colonel Sanders , Helio Gracie , mas oyamas , Mohammad Ali, John Milton
His father, Martin Field, died when Eugene was 19, and he subsequently dropped out of Williams after eight months. Next he went to Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, but dropped out after a year. Then he went to the University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri, where his brother Roswell was also attending. He tried acting and studied law with little success. He then set off for a trip through Europe but returned to the United States six months later, penniless. Field then set to work as a journalist for the St. Joseph Gazette in Saint Joseph, Missouri, in 1875.
That same year he married Julia Comstock, with whom he had eight children. For the rest of his life he arranged for all the money he earned to be sent to his wife, saying that he had no head for money himself.Field soon rose to become city editor of the Gazette.He became known for his light, humorous articles written in a gossipy style, some of which were reprinted by other newspapers around the country. It was during this time that he wrote the famous poem Lovers Lane about a street in St. Joseph, Missouri.From 1876 through 1880 Field lived in St. Louis, first as an editorial writer for the Morning Journal and subsequently for the Times-Journal.
After a brief stint as managing editor of the Kansas City Times, he worked for two years as editor of the Denver Tribune.In 1883 Field moved to Chicago where he wrote a humorous newspaper column called S harps and Flats for the Chicago Daily News. His home in Chicago was near the intersection of N. Clarendon and W. Hutchinson in the neighborhood now known as Buena Park.He first started publishing poetry in 1879, when his poem "Christmas Treasures" appeared in A Little Book of Western Verse.
Over a dozen volumes of poetry followed and he became well known for his light-hearted poems for children, perhaps the most famous of which is "Wynken, Blynken, and Nod." Field also published a number of short stories, including "The Holy Cross" and "Daniel and the Devil."The Dinky Bird by Maxfield Parrish, an illustration from Poems of Childhood by Eugene FieldField died in Chicago at the age of 45. He is buried at the Church of the Holy Comforter in Kenilworth, Illinois. His 1901 biography by S. Thompson states that he was originally buried in Graceland Cemetery in Chicago, but his son-in-law, Senior Warden of the Church of the Holy Comforter, had him reinterred on March 7, 1926. Legacy Several of his poems were set to music with commercial success.
Many of his works were accompanied by paintings from Maxfield Parrish. His former home in St. Louis is now a museum. A memorial to him, a statue of the "Dream Lady" from his poem, "Rock-a-by-Lady" (see lyrics, below), was erected in 1922 at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. There is also a park and fieldhouse named in his honor in Chicago's Albany Park neighborhood.Field has his own star on the St. Louis Walk of Fame. Numerous elementary schools throughout the Midwest are named for him, e.g. Eugene Field Elementary School in Wheeling, Illinois, Park Ridge, Illinois, St. Joseph, Missouri, Hannibal, Missouri, Columbia, Missouri, Manhattan, KansasSioux Falls, South Dakota and Beaumont, Texas.
There is also a Eugene Field Elementary School in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Littleton, Colorado, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Altus, Oklahoma, and San Diego, California. A dormitory in the Orchard Hill residential area at the University of Massachusetts Amherst also bears Field's name.Field has been credited with one of the most devastating witticisms in the history of dramatic criticism.
Read more biographies!
Mahathir mohammad, osama bin laden, ibn taymiyyah,Shakespeare, J F kennedy,Soekarno , Bill Gates , Bonnie Prince Charlie , Florence Nightingale , Horace Austin Warner Tabor , Bruce Lee , Che Guevara , Malcolm x, Colonel Sanders , Helio Gracie , mas oyamas , Mohammad Ali, John Milton
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