How children learn and grow

Everyone has been destined what he wants to be since he was in his mother’s uterus. Will not all children who want to be a doctor get their dream. Let’s look back when we were children, we had a dream too. We wanted to be a successful businessperson, a doctor, an architect, a soldier and many other professions. In fact, we are now a different person from what we used to dream of. Why can’t we achieve our dream? The answer is simple. There are three types of children. How we learn and grow when we were children until we finished our university. Those three types become blue print what we are now. These are the three types. First, are we an extra ordinary people with extra ordinary talent? Second, how are we nurtured? Third, do we learn life from our own world? Let us talk all those three types people.

The first is extra ordinary people with extra ordinary talent. Children whose this type posses a sign that they are going to be great men in the future. Their carried talent will bring them to the highest achievement in their life. Teachers and parents will not find much problem in educating these children. They need to polish the talent that the Almighty God has blessed on the children. Can children with extraordinary talent fail in their life? Yes, everything is possible but the possibility is a little because there will be many people who recognize and search for the children. When the children grow up, many people will depend on their service and skill. That is why this type of children will be hunted.

The second is how children are nurtured. Children who grow in athletes’ family tend to be athletes too. This is natural even though the children do not have extraordinary talent. Those children will learn from their parents to be successful as athletes. They know what they want to get if they follow their father’s profession. Their parents also support if their children will be athletes. A father who is an artist will be proud if his boy can be a more popular artist than he is. This type of children has been successful because they are raised in successful family and follow their family’s profession.

Most people are raised in ordinary family. There is a proverb in Javanese culture “ Buah jatuh tidak jauh dari pohonya” it is translated “ a fruit falls not far from it’s tree” this proverb means that professions of children is not considerably different from their parents. Most of us grow in this type of situation. A good education can alter this generated life cycle. A farmer who lives in a country wants his boy to be an architect, then he put his boy in a good school, the boy can be an architect in the end. This is possible because the boy raised in architecture world in his school and his mind due to his parent passion.

In fact, an English proverb is very popular” Like father like son” a father usually descends almost his character to his son. A son is a university lecturer while his father is an elementary school teacher. A university lecturer and an elementary school teacher are not different. They are the same professions but in different level. You may ask if you could make your boy or a girl a doctor while you are a shopkeeper. It is possible. Children grow in the way they are nurtured. You must make your children’s mind, dream, life cycle, get connected to health service professions. You can take them to hospitals, meet doctors, and give them toys of doctor’s equipment. Make them love a profession as a doctor. Your children will grow as little doctors. Put them in medical schools even though the fee is expensive. If you have strong motivation, you can pay the entire fee for them. In this way, you have nurtured your sons and daughters in doctor’s world.

The last is that children grow on their own world. The children learn from their social environment exposure. There is no strong interruption that guides them to a certain profession. Many parents do not care what they children want to be. The children find their own way to become what they need. Badly, most children in this situation tend to be interested in bad habit like smoking, drinking alcohol, and ignoring schools. This type of children grow in bad social life. It means that they are raised in poor life so that they will be what they are now.

How to teach children discipline

Discipline is a good behavior. It is a way of life that leads proper activities to right time and place. Children can learn discipline too. They want to sleep before nine o’clock if they are accustomed to. They keep their toys voluntarily in the toy box after playing if they are trained to do this. Teaching and training discipline need time and patient. There are no instant methods to teach children discipline because parents should make discipline in children as a habit and behavior.

Young children sometime don’t understand why they do this and that. Their parents often get angry with them even slap them when they play with fire. Children just know if they play with fire they will get slap or strike and anger from their parents. Is this a way to teach discipline? No, the children do not learn discipline but they get a strike because they play with fire. How to teach children discipline?

1. Parents must become the encouraging figures.

Children copy what their parents do. It is impossible to teach discipline while their parents do not give models. A father asks his boy to get to sleep at nine o’clock, turn off the light; on the other hand, he is watching TV. The boy refuses the father’s instruction of course. Be a good figure or model of discipline so that our children will follow us.

2. Children need to know why they are not allowed to do this and that.

Parents should explain why children have to go to bed early. Talk to our children in childhood language so that the practice of discipline is understood. Children who understand the benefit of eating vegetables want to eat up all vegetables on the plate of their food hungrily.

3. Parents must give appreciation or reward to a good thing that children have done.

Most parents don’t realize that they give little attention to small achievements that their children have accomplished. Children who are rewarded when they throw a trash in a trashcan do not want to litter on the floor at another time. Rewards strengthen positive indicators in children mind.

4. Let children learn from experience.

Giving too much protection is also not a good idea. Children want to take adventure on their own experience. A boy wants to learn to ride a bike. He falls very often at first but finally he rides his bike. He learns from experience. Even he falls he keeps trying if he wants to able to ride a bike. A young girl sometime follows her mother in the dishwasher. She likes to play with water. Can we as parents stop her while she is playing with water? We are sure she will cry loudly and refuse to stay away from the dishwasher. Let the girl play for a while but watch over her. Playing with water in a dishwasher may cause her T-shirt gets wet. This condition makes her uncomfortable. By experiencing of getting wet the girl feels uncomfortable. The mother should talks to her daughter not to play with water and why she prohibits her girl playing in dishwasher. The girl will understand and not play at another chance.

5. Parents should be consistent.

When children break the rules, want them and don’t give them excuse.

6. Parents are not allowed to give punishment that does not educate their children.

Striking or slapping can be done at the last choice of educating children. ( this is the principle in Islamic religion, children at the age 10 who ignore to pray shalat regularly, parents have authority to strike them. The strike is not for hurting but for educating. This strike is only for principle way of life. When a boy does not put away his toys, his parents are not allowed to strike him. This case is not principle. Parents may keep the toys in a cupboard and don’t let the boy play for a week.

7. Parents forgive and forget what their children have done.

Children who have punishment have the right to get love and attention from their father and mother. Let children do their activities but keep an eye on them without interrupting their fun time.

Reference

Anakku dari ahli yang peduli buah hati, Edisi, September 2005

Negative effects of pornography on children

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The danger of pornography for children

Children are the best memory keepers. They can memorize what they see, hear, and do easily. Therefore, when children watch a pornographic videos and erotic pictures, they will store those memories in their brain. Is there any danger of pornography for children? Yes, there is much threat that is ready to destroy children.

Recent days, children can access pornographic videos and erotic pictures easily. They can get all of them from internet, magazines, films and CDs. The billboards on the road are sometime very erotic. All children are free to access those pornographic sources. They do not even have to pay a cent. We are as parents worry for this condition. In our childhood thirty years ago, it is difficult to access pornographic sources.

Some researchers from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee and Yale University in Connecticut, USA released their research on Psychonomic Bulletin and Review August edition 2005, quoted that there would be “ Blindness” in a person’s brain after he/ she watched some erotic and violence pictures. One of elements in human’s brain name “ Amygdala” works independently. Amygdala will increase emotion, heart beat, and cold sweat after receiving trigger from sensational pictures.

Drivers are suggested not seeing erotic pictures on billboards because there can be accident after that. In the research, respondents watched beautiful pictures like beautiful views and architectures, and then they had to see erotic pictures. They lost their focus when they saw the beautiful views and architectures. Almost all respondents lost their focus. David Zald said they failed to detect neutral pictures visually in 1-5 seconds after watching erotic pictures.

The question is what do you think if children watch erotic or pornographic films or pictures? There will be negative effects that children will get.





Reference

Anakku dari ahli yang peduli buah hati, September 2005 page 65